Author: Bruce Pagano II (Page 3 of 50)

Bruce Pagano is a blogger and podcaster living in the Treasure Valley area of Idaho. He is married and has four children, a retired US military veteran, a licensed clinical professional counselor, and has over 14 years of ministerial leadership experience. Most of his writing focuses on manhood, leadership, relationships, and faith issues. His writing can be found at www.brucepagano.com and his podcast at www.foldingchairtheology.com.

Loving God: All Your Soul

All Your Soul
Photo by Josh Marshall on Unsplash

Loving God with all your soul is a little more complicated of an area to consider. If loving God, when we cannot see Him, is difficult because of the abstract nature of it, then certainly loving Him with all of your soul only compounds that complexity. It helps to understand that while the Jewish believe the heart is where we experience and express much of what makes us a person (intellect, emotion, will), the soul is our essence. 

God’s Breath

Remember, essence is our intrinsic nature or the indispensable quality that determines our character. Soul, also translated as breath, is God’s breath of life or the thing that animates our bodies. It is the thing that God joined with our physical body and made it alive and what it means to be created in God’s image. When God breathed life into us, He was putting into us both His essence and the characteristics that make us, us. He animated our body with life that is Him.

Loving God with all your soul is about loving God with all of who you are. The Jews believe that the soul is the seat of our emotions because our emotions are a part of who we are. So loving God with all our soul includes our emotional responses to God. I’ve always been an emotional person, but the way that manifested before and after God is quite different.

Your Soul is You

Before God, my emotions came out often as anger. During that time, I might’ve called it passion, but it was anger. There were other emotions, but I think anger was the most frequent and predominate one. After God got a hold of me, I started crying a lot. Not because I’m sad, maybe sometimes, but mostly because I often feel overwhelmed with a lot; joy, amusement, awe, and relief. I also feel more compassionate toward others. To be clear, this was my emotional journey and is not intended to be indicative of how everyone’s journey should go. So, while there is an emotional aspect to this, it’s far more than that. Loving God with all your soul is manifested in you being you. That means relating and responding to Him with the character, personality, and emotions with which He created you.

Be You for Them

Again, living out the New Command, “to love each other”, is the best way to see this manifested. If by nature, you’re a nurturing person, that character trait is most directly God-honoring when it is directed back to Him through nurturing His body. If you’re a steadfast “rock “type person, you show your love for God best when you provide support for His people. Because your soul is who you are, if you’re creative, then you create. But you create for the good of others, starting with those in His body. Loving God with all your soul has everything honoring those in His body with who you are.


Excerpt from my book, Three Commands: Jesus’ Fulfillment of the Law Through Love. You can purchase the book HERE.

Loving God: All Your Heart

Love; God; All your heart
Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash

One of my favorite interactions between Jesus and Peter occurs on a beach after Jesus is resurrected. It’s found in John 21 and involves Jesus asking Peter if he loves Him multiple times, while they walk together. This is a great conversation to help understand what it means to love God with all your heart.

When Jesus asked Peter if he loves Him, the word He uses for love is the Greek word agape. But, Peter used a different Greek word for love in his reply. He used phileo. It may not seem like a big deal, but if you understand the nuanced meaning of each, it’s enormous.

Two Loves

Agape is a divine love, which originates from God, the idea of love as an essence that we discussed earlier. It is a selfless, generous, and sacrificial love that expresses a deep affection in the form of action. It is a love that moves a person to extend love before all the circumstances of a situation might be known. Agape is not a human love, although, as Christians, we aspire to love this way. Instead, it is the kind of love that is necessary for loving your enemy. 

Phileo love, on the other hand, is most accurately defined as brotherly love, or a love defined by closeness to another. It’s the kind of love that you think of when in connection to loving a sibling or a dear friend. Most sermons I’ve heard suggest that Jesus used the word agape all three times that He asked the question and that Peter answered the first two times using the word phileo, then changed his answer the third time, using the word agape.

The suggestion here is that Peter caught on to what Jesus was asking, finally understood, and answered with the “right” word the third time. Third time’s the charm, right? It seems logical that Peter, like the rest of us, would have finally understood the answer Jesus wanted. Then, with his new understanding, he finally answers correctly. Except, that isn’t how it’s actually in the text; it occurred the other way around. 

HE Meets Us

After asking twice if Peter loved him unconditionally, with this divinely generous and sacrificial agape love, and Peter responding twice that he loved Jesus with the brotherly affection of phileo love, it was Jesus who changed His words. The third time Jesus asked Peter if he loved him, He asked, “Do you phileo me?” Only then comes Peter’s most desperate answer, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love (phileo) you.” There could be any number of reasons why Jesus changed which word He used, but I think it points to the beauty of an essential truth of Christ. Jesus will, and does, fully meet us wherever we find ourselves in life. He allows us to give only what we’re capable of giving at that time, all the while inviting us to “follow Him” as He leads us toward more. There’s comfort in that. There’s rest in that.

And for Peter, after such a devastating event as denying Christ, it was merciful for Jesus to allow him to extend the love he was capable of giving. From a human standpoint, it makes sense that Peter’s denial would have affected his confidence in how much he loved Jesus. 

Demand v. Desire

One of the truths of this interaction is that Jesus doesn’t demand that we love Him with agape love, especially if we’re not ready for it. However, Him asking Peter twice does show that He desires it. And if He does, is it even possible to love Him that way? If so, how do we get there? The answer is in Jesus’ response to Peter. All three times that Jesus asked Peter if he loved Him He responded to Peter with “tend my sheep” or “feed my sheep.” Jesus points Peter toward caring for and teaching those who would choose to follow Him. It seems like Jesus is communicating two things here. The first points to what our actions will look like if we profess to love Him with agape, and the second is how to grow toward loving Him with agape.

Love for Christ

Our love for our brothers and sisters in Christ is a direct reflection of the type of love we have for Christ. If I’m honest, it shows me that most often, I have phileo love for Jesus. And while that’s okay, and Jesus accepts that He still desires for me to love him with agape love. That only happens in community with other Christians. And because I desire to love Christ like that, hopefully without the actual physical cross at the end of it, I have to love His bride. What Jesus, and the rest of the Bible, makes clear is that your love and honor of God’s people is the best indication of your love and honor for God. Not only that, the Body is the one place that you can practice and learn what it means and looks like to love that way.

Loving God with all your heart has everything to do with opening it to those in the Body. 


Excerpt from my book, Three Commands: Jesus’ Fulfillment of the Law Through Love. You can purchase the book HERE.

Marriage: Where Two are Gathered

marriage
Photo by Désirée Fawn on Unsplash

In Matthew 18:20, Jesus promises to be with His followers when they come together in any size group, even if it’s only two or three. Until recently, I assumed He was talking specifically about praying together. However, while He does speak about agreeing in prayer right before making this promise, He’s promising something much farther reaching than just praying together. What if Jesus’ promise means that He is present every time we’re with another Christian? 

I’m not suggesting that He isn’t always present; He is. We have His Holy Spirit who indwells us and access to the Father the same as He did. But, Jesus does seem to make some distinction between Him going to the Father so the Holy Spirit can come to us. I am suggesting that if we’re made in and becoming the image of Christ, maybe we can see and experience Him more fully when we’re gathered with other Christians.

Because I’m confident in that being true, it changes what it means when I’m with another Christian. Jesus being present with us turns every coffee meeting and every kid’s soccer game into an opportunity to see Him. This was a huge realization for me because it means that I, and we, have to regard gathering with other Christians as a crucial matter if we want to see Jesus among us. And if that’s the case, how much more does that apply to marriage.

Is Marriage “Community”

Think with me for a minute. If two Christians decide to marry, they are committing to be gathered together before God, forever. They essentially become the most basic and consistent gathering of Christians. That means that Jesus is always present among them. Right? That’s a lot of pressure. Maybe that’s why Paul told us to pray always. All joking aside, marriage becomes an opportunity to see Christ present among you on a pretty continuous basis.

Because there’s a lot of great marriage blogs and articles out there, I wanted to approach this idea from a different angle. I want to address it from the perspective of marriage as a community. For that, one of the best places we can go to is Acts 2:42-47.

This passage of scripture provides a great perspective on what it should look like when believers gather together. That perspective very easily and usefully translates to what a healthy marriage could look like from the perspective of a husband and wife gathered together as the body of Christ. Let’s dive right in.

A couple who is gathered with one another…

Devotes themselves to learning God’s word and seeks Him together

Acts 2:42 says, “The [Christians] devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.” A healthy marriage is one where both parties are dedicated to knowing God better and learning to hear His voice through the reading of His word. Additionally, they are committed to being with each other and growing in God. They spend time seeking God together, eat together to remember Christ (sit down at the dinner table occasionally), and praying with and for each other.

Are with and for each other and have a unified direction.

Acts 2:44 says, “And all who believed were together and had all things in common.” A healthy marriage is one in which both members partners. They make decisions together and respect the other as an individual. They cheer each other on and believe in their partner (be your spouse’s biggest cheerleader). They also work toward moving in the same direction as a couple and family. This requires constant and deliberate communication about dreams, hopes, desires, and intentions.

Meet one another’s needs, often at the expense of your own desires. 

This is not the Jerry McGuire “you complete me” garbage. I’m not talking about your spouse being the one who is supposed to fill in all your gaps and make you feel whole; only God can do that. Acts 2:45 says, “And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need.” This is about sacrificing your desires and wants for the sake of another. Marriage is the perfect place to practice that. I once heard a pastor define love as, “The accurate estimation and adequate supply of another’s need.” The only thing I would add is “without expectation.” If that other person isn’t first your spouse, you have no business supplying another’s need.

Spend time together and share gladness and generosity freely.

Acts 2:46 says, “And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts.” This is about a couple enjoying being with each other. The new Christians, in the Acts church, could have worshipped in their homes in smaller groups, but they chose to go to the temple to be with all the other Christians. They enjoyed each others’ company. The same should be true of a married couple. They should also be cheerful and generous with each other. No one likes a selfish jerk, especially not your spouse. 

Celebrate God’s goodness.

Acts 2:47 says, “praising God.” This is simply about recognizing that all good things come from the Lord. Spouses who are gathered together remind each other of this truth because sometimes you forget.

No one likes a selfish jerk, especially not your spouse. 
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Are admired by others.

Acts 2:47 also says, “and having favor with all the people.” This might be a hard one, but the truth is, if we’re striving to be like Christ, then the fruit of the spirit (love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control) begins to become part of who you are. This doesn’t mean everyone will like you, just that you’ll be the type of person that people see Christ in. This starts by being those things to your spouse. I promise that if you give this fruit to your spouse and people will admire you.

Acts 2:47 ends with, “And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved.” God is pleased when you gather with your spouse and invite Jesus to be present. It pleases Him because it is one of the ways that we get to participate with Him in inviting others into His Kingdom.

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