Tag: Love (Page 7 of 8)

Top 5 of 2014

FiveI can’t believe another year is gone and let me just say, WHAT A YEAR! I retired from the military, moved my family across the world, started a new job and welcomed our DAUGHTER into the world! Banger year, I say.

As far as blogging goes, I think I did a little better this year. I posted almost 3 times a month. This year I plan on upping that to once a week. I’m also hoping this will be the year that I complete one of my major projects. Anyway, without further a due, here’s the Top 5 of 2014.

1. The Best Gender Reveal You’ll Ever See…

Of course the number one (and two) most popular posts has to do with our biggest news… Hazel Dae. I think it was the most popular for two reasons. First, it was news that a ton of people were waiting to hear. Second, the video (created by my mucho talented friend, Jeremiah Karr) was EPIC and Harry Potter themed.

2. I Fell in Love Twice!

This is the story of our Hazel; from prayer to home birth, it’s all here. It’s a great story about God’s promise and His faithfulness. It also include my perspective on our home birth, which I’m now a huge fan of, and a link to my wife’s blog about the birth story, which is put together so eloquently.

3. Jesus Didn’t Say That!

This post was my offering to the same-gender marriage conversation. Hopefully it contributed in a positive way. The Christian stance on the LBGT community should be the same as with every other “community”… love, without exception or expectation.

4. God Doesn’t Have a Plan for Your Life.This is actually an article that I’d intended on writing for a long time, but wasn’t able to until my frustration hit a point that it had to be written. So many times, during difficult life seasons, well-meaning Christians say, “It’s all part of God’s plan for your life.” without giving a second though to how ridiculous it is to believe that God wrote divorce or a child’s death into your life plan. If we’re talking about Jesus and you say that, kudos to you, you’re spot on! If I’m sharing a personal tragedy and you say it, I may punch you.

5. Repent All Ye Sinners! 

Let me just say, I love Christians. I really do; they’re my people. But we have, and continue to, say some really dumb things. The way we’ve communicated repentance to non-Christians is one of those things. While the intent is always good, the delivery isn’t always the best and the end result can be messy, if not damaging. This article was an attempt to flesh out the idea of repentance for both Christians and non-Christians.

So there you have it, the Top 5 of 2014.

See you in 2015.

A Letter to the Church

Saint Paul writing

*I originally wrote this post in 2014, but for some reason unpublished it. I'll eventually go back and update it a little, but it's still what I desire for myself and my people.

Letters to Christians

If you’re familiar with the New Testament you know that it is separated into a number of different book groups. The largest one of those groups is called the Epistles. Epistle is just a fancy word for a letter that is intended to provide instruction. Books like 1st & 2nd Corinthians, Galatians, Ephesians, James (complete list HERE) are all actually letters that Apostles of the early Church (i.e. Paul, Peter, James, John, Jude) wrote to various Christian churches and new converts to the Christian faith. Here’s the thing I want to point out about these letters; they were all written to Christians, whether individually or as a congregation, to address issues that did not reflect the character of Jesus. Not one letter was addressed to unbelievers. That little piece of knowledge should turn your head. Think about the issues that these letters address: sexual sin, drunkenness, gossip, lying, coarse talk, and the list goes on. These were sins that the Apostles saw CHRISTIANS participating in and were written as an appeal to get them to stop.

These letters were not written to Christians as a means for them to use as ammunition to call out unbelievers’ sin. The contrary is actually true. These letters were written to instruct Christians how they’re to follow Jesus, so that we are able to live a life glorifying to God. The Epistles were written as a means for calling out the sin in the Christian’s life. Collectively these letters are God’s manifesto to the Christian Church; His public declaration for His intent for how we’re to live our life. This does not excuse us from not calling sin what it is, sin. That’s necessary and good, but we should take care of where we direct that message. The first place it should be directed is toward the Church. Sunday morning sermons that preach that adultery is a sin should be directed at believers so that those believers that might be engaged in that can be drawn by the Holy Spirit to repentance and restored to God. Telling someone who doesn’t believe in God that they are breaking the heart of God is an exercise in futility. It may work occasionally, but more often than not, it won’t.

This also doesn’t eliminate our ability to complete The Great Commission; in fact, it frees us to become more fully engaged in the work of it. In making disciples, we are creating followers that are willing to be subject to the conviction of the Holy Spirit and accountable to Christian brothers and sisters. Jesus said that the world’s sin is their unbelief in Him. When we preach Christ and Him crucified, telling the world who Jesus is and what He did for us, we’re placing the knowledge in the unbeliever, which is necessary for the Holy Spirit to come and convict them of their unbelief. Then and only then are their hearts open to God’s call to righteousness. Only when someone becomes a follower of Jesus are they subject to the writings and teachings of the Apostles.

Again, this doesn’t eliminate our ability to preach or witness. In Acts 2, when Peter gave the very first sermon of the new Church, his entire recorded message revolved around who Jesus was and how the Jews’ unbelief resulted in His death, but how it was all ultimately part of God’s redemptive plan. Then he wrapped up his sermon by saying, “So let everyone in Israel know for certain that God has made this Jesus, whom you crucified, to be both Lord and Messiah!” Then told the crowd to repent of their sin (that was their unbelief in Jesus as the Messiah) and do you know what happened? “Those who believed what Peter said were baptized and added to the church that day—about 3,000 in all.” Not those that stopped getting drunk. Not those that stopped being sexually immoral. Not those that stopped lying or being selfish, prideful. Those that believed were saved. They repented of their sin of unbelief and were saved. No doubt there was work that the Holy Spirit had to do in them, but they had become disciples, followers, of Jesus and were willing to (hopefully) live according to what He taught.

So here’s my letter to the church…

To the Saints of God, called to righteousness by His Holy Spirit and saved by our LORD, Jesus Christ, may His grace and mercy be on you.

Learn what it means to really love God. Spend time with Him in fellowship. Allow Him to draw you to His side and cultivate your relationship with Him. Become accountable to His written Word, who is Jesus, and let Him sink deep into your heart. Be committed to growing with Him.

Learn what it means to really love others. Spend time with them in fellowship. Draw close to the hurting and abandoned. Feed the hungry. Give water to those that thirst. Clothe the naked. Visit and comfort the impoverished and imprisoned. Don’t just say you love others; show others that you love them.

Learning what it means to really love God and really love others happens inside of a community of other faithful and loving believers. So love each other, this is how the world will know we belong to Jesus. Spend time in fellowship with each other. Serve each other.  Draw close to each other. Be accountable to each other as you’re each accountable to The Word. Be committed to growing with each other.

Call sin what it is inside of your community; be hard on it and merciful with each other. Be forgiving. Stop trying to hold people who don’t know Jesus accountable to our credo. Instead, let the focus of our witness be who Jesus is and what He did for us so that the world would believe in their Savior. Then when they believe, invite them to learn with you.

I’ll end my letter with the words that Paul ended his letter to the church in Ephesus.

Peace be to the brothers [and sisters], and love with faith, from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Grace be with all who love our Lord Jesus Christ with love incorruptible.

I Love You; I’m Just Not IN Love with You.

Used from http://www.writerscafe.org/writing/theoverdose/500776/This is probably one of the most common excuses for ending most relationships in our culture. “I’m not IN love anymore” is a ready-made answer for ending a relationship that no longer lives up to what entertainment tells us love should look, or rather feel like. I readily confess that I’m 100% guilty of this in the past.

On the surface it seems pretty reasonable. Why would you continue to pursue a relationship when you’re no longer in love with the other involved party? Unfortunately, being “in love” with someone and loving someone are two completely different things.

Recently I had a friend tell me this about his wife. We were able to talk about it a little and I suspect (and hope) that there might be more, but it got me thinking a lot about what it really means when someone says this.

Without mincing words, here are the two truths that occurred to me about when someone says it.

1)   They may not feel the same “IN love” feeling anymore, but they also don’t actually love the other person either.

2)   That statement is solely based on and grounded in selfishness.

Before I move on, let me clarify. There is nothing wrong with being “in love”. It’s a wonderful affair. It’s the most amazing convergence of feeling like you might die and feeling like you could live forever. I loved the feeling of falling in love with my wife. But, the “in love” feeling becomes a negative thing when we use it as an excuse to dismantle a union that you promised to honor. Of course I’m mainly addressing marriage here, but, to be clear again, if you’re dating and haven’t yet uttered those three little words (not “Pass the queso”, still important, but not those) then take care to be sure that you are actually willing to commit to what it means to actually love that person. Then if you choose to end it, pre-marriage, be honest with them and tell them, “You don’t make me feel the way you used to and I’m not ready to be in a relationship where loving another person is all about them.” It might sting more, but at least it’s honest.

Now, back to the lecture at hand; here’s why I came to the two conclusions that I did.

Truth #1

“In love” is a feeling, although it’s probably more of a collection of feelings, but nonetheless still a feeling. The feeling of “in love” is meant to draw and connect us to another person with the purpose of promising them our commitment to love only them. Because “in love” is a feeling, it can shift and is no more sustainable than feeling excited. “In love” is like a striking a match; it flickers with the breeze and is easily blown out. It’s sole purpose is to light the flame of mature love that isn’t subject to the whims of the elements. Mature love has weathered trials and is hardened like steel by the flames of difficulty. It exists regardless of waxing and waning feelings. It is a love that decides to stay because it’s rooted in more than feelings.

Since “in love” is a feeling, when you say that you love someone, but you’re not in love with him or her, only part of that statement is true. It is true that you no longer feel in love, it isn’t sustainable; you probably started to not feel in love a long time before you voiced it. But what isn’t true is that you actually love them. If you did actually love someone, how he or she makes you feel would be less important than doing the work to mature the relationship. I don’t mean to make it sound easy; it surely isn’t. Marriage is probably (for most people anyway) the one thing that they’ll have to work at harder than anything else, ever. If you love someone then you keep the promise and put in the work. If your marriage is based on feeling in love, then you probably misunderstand what love really is.

Truth #2

When you make love all about how you feel and you’re willing to end it when it doesn’t feel the way you want it to, you make love completely about you and entirely eliminate the other person from the equation. That’s selfishness. Genuine love is always about the other person. We all know the scripture verse John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only some…” so the WE could be saved. He, God, GAVE for US. Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13)  Love gives.

I’m not saying that you can’t want to feel love. We are made t give and receive love. We are creatures of love. I hope and pray that we all get to feel loved, but feelings aren’t useful for determining how we love others. Genuine love is always about the other person, regardless of feeling. That’s mature love.

heart

I’ll close with this quote from C.S. Lewis in his book Mere Christianity

“Ceasing to be ‘in love’ need not mean ceasing to love. Love in this second sense — love as distinct from ‘being in love’ — is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by (in Christian marriages) the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God. They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other; as you love yourself even when you do not like yourself. They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be ‘in love’ with someone else. ‘Being in love’ first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.”

What does love mean to you?

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