Tag: Christian (Page 4 of 7)

The Good Men Project Article – May 22, 2016

Yesterday The Good Men Project published a second article I wrote for them. It’s an important subject if you’re a Christian. At first glance it may look like the article is about the Transgender bathroom issue, but that’s only a surface level issue. The real topic behind the article is fear and how we, as Christians, should approach it. Thanks for reading and as always, healthy dialogue is always welcome.

A Christian Dad Sounds Off on the Lies About Transgender People and Restrooms

Transgender

If you had to explain it to someone from another country, what would you tell them appears to be the biggest issues facing our country? Our economy? The millions of people who live in poverty? Our hard broken justice system? The fact that a crazy misogynist has grabbed the GOP nomination essentially unchallenged? Nope, nope, nope and nope. Oddly, you would likely be closer if you said our biggest issue, especially within the conservative Christian camp, is whether a person should be able to use the bathroom of the gender with which they identify. Realistically this has been a point of contention and debate in one form or another for quite a few years, with instances like bakers refusing to make cakes for same gender weddings, the push to legalize same gender marriage, local government officials refusing to execute their civic duty when it comes to issuing said marriage licenses and a myriad of other rights that members of the LGBTQ community are working toward gaining. And in all that, Christians have been some of the loudest voices of opposition.

Read more [HERE]

 

Photo: Flickr/Peter K.Levy

“Stepping” Up Your Game in Step-Parenting

FamilyParenting is hard. Aside from being a husband, parenting is one of the hardest roles I have ever filled. When I say hard, I mean hard as in “there is no handbook for the right way to do this” type of hard. Parenting is a bunch of surprise moments, for which you have no experience, strung together. And as hard as parenting is, being a step-parent is more difficult.

My son is seven and a half. In April, I will have been his dad for five years. I love him. He is funny, smart, tough and sensitive. He loves his mommy and his sister. Sometimes he is a handful, but he is a good kid. The last 5 years have been quite a journey.

As much as I love him and am grateful for the opportunity to be his dad, at times I am challenged with our relationship. One of the more difficult parts of being a stepparent is seeing the sweet moments between my wife and son, or my daughter and son, and knowing that those moments occur more naturally between them. My wife and son do have difficult moments, and I also share sweet moments with my son. However, those moments with him are glaringly less frequent than the ones he shares with his mommy. In fact, there are times where he reminds me that I not his biological father, and that he may feel his family unit consists of him, his mom and his sister. Those moments can cause me to feel hurt, anxiety and frustration that often overshadows those sweet moments.

At times I will consider to myself, “if it’s like this now, imagine what it will be like when he’s twelve or sixteen.” While I may be challenged, there are several things I do to help protect and grow our relationship. And, since I am being transparent, I do not always succeed.

But for his sake and because I love him, I try.

Prayer

Prayer is one of the bigger struggles in my own spiritual walk. However, I try to maintain consistency in my prayer life. One of the things I pray for all the time is my relationship with my son. I name the things I am thankful for, confess the things I handled wrong, and ask God to give me wisdom for areas where I am struggling. For those that aren’t religious, you may call this “positive, self-talk.” Perhaps you identify the good moments, separate them from the bad ones and brainstorm ideas for the difficult ones. Maybe that works. However, when I take it to God, the Holy Spirit heals hearts and guides hands.

Encouraging Scripture

Philippians 4:6-7, “The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Seek Counsel

This one has been difficult for me. You would think that with how prevalent divorce is in America, that finding guys that are willing to talk about it would not be hard, but for me it has been. Just like other areas in life, I’ve learned that wise counsel in parenting is essential. This is very true with step parenting. I am also blessed that my wife, even with being close to the situation, is willing to talk with and encourage me. Counsel, whether it is a Facebook group, a small group, professional, or a one-on-one coffee meeting, is important for perspective and encouragement.

Encouraging Scripture

Proverbs 15:22, “Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.”

Spend Time

One on one time with your stepchild is crucial to your relationship. Time together helps the child see that you value them, and want to reserve time just for them. Both my wife and I carve out private time with my son. Reading a book together at bedtime, an ice cream outing or a bike ride are opportunities to cultivate sweet moments. The hope is that eventually there will be enough sweet moments to overshadow the difficult the ones.

Encouraging Scripture

Psalms 103:13, “As a father shows compassion to his children, so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him.

This is part of how I am dedicated to growing my relationship with my son. I know there is more that can be done. I am committed to discovering new ways to reach out to him because he is my son. I look forward to the day when he recognizes the depth of my love, and my desire to help him become the man that I know God desires him to be.

What have you found that works for cultivating a deeper relationship with your stepchild?

If you enjoyed this post or know someone that would, please use one of the social buttons to share it.

The best way for Christians to teach same-gender married couples a lesson

Lessons-LearnedIt’s actually pretty simple and I’m surprised that more Christians haven’t thought of this. With celebrities, like Brangelina and David Pocock and his partner Emma Palandri (I’ll call them Dama or Emmavid), vowing not to get married until same-gender marriage is legal, the likely Christian counter-point response should be obvious… DIVORCE. That’s right, divorce. You should feel stupid for not coming up with that idea yourself. But not all of us Christians are inept to the right way to get our point across that same-gender marriage will ruin all marriage. Nick and Sarah Jensen figured out this little gem of a protest for us.

Evidently, Nick and Sarah have warned the Australian government that should they legalize same-gender marriage later this year, then they “…as a matter of conscience, refuse to recognise the government’s regulation of marriage…” The couple says that they’re happily married and plan to stay together, even having more children, but should the definition of marriage change, they will not partake in it, thus landing themselves in “Ye Ol’Divorce Court.” Hopefully the Australian government heeds this warning because as a Christian, honestly I’d like not to have to live through the pain of reading this in the news or on my social media feeds and then having to write about how atrociously ridiculous it is.

I understand that many Christians feel the need to openly uphold their conviction about how the bible defines marriage. I get it, it’s important to you and a sensitive subject that has caused a lot of frustration and hurt on both sides of the issue. But what’s more important to me is how God views how sacred I treat marriage, not whether I get the government to acknowledge my belief. Honestly, I don’t share my view publicly because it doesn’t matter what I publicly think the definition of marriage is. What does matter is my personal private view. The way that I hold and esteem marriage as a covenant between my wife and I before God is a private affair and I hope that the evidence in how I treat her and speak of her reveals my view publicly. Being a Christian always comes back to how I follow Jesus, never how good I am at making sure the government legislates morality. The thing that pains me the most is the extent to which Christians will go in an attempt to prove a point.

The fact that this couple is willing to take something that in their view is “…a fundamental order of creation, part of God’s intimate story for human history…” and sully it with something that God outrightly says he hates blows my mind. Listen to what’s going on here: a Christian couple who say marriage is a sacred covenant, created by God, is using divorce, a man-made procedure created to destroy that covenant and something  that God hates and Jesus said only exists because we’re hardhearted, to prove just how sacred marriage is.  Does that make any sense? Because for me, it sounds as close to unbiblical as anything I can think of. On top of that, they’re going to stay together and have sex, outside the legal bounds of marriage, because marriage is between them and God. Got it. No muddy water there. This is almost like saying, “If the government makes abortion legal, I’m going to quit having kids.” What?

I’ve said it before and I’ll keep saying it, the bible is the standard by which WE, confessed followers of Jesus, are called to live. It is not a list of sins and right behaviors that we’re supposed to use to tell the world how wrong they are and how much they need to change. The bible is meant for His kingdom citizens, and yes, some day that Kingdom will be here and yes we’re called to start living in the image of that while we’re on earth (the whole “in the world, not of it” bit), but yelling at people and getting divorced aren’t really good ways to do that. Jesus never intended on changing the culture, He intends to change us and that only comes through communion with Him, and getting divorced isn’t part of that. Once you’ve confessed Him, you’re supposed to tell people about Him and then allow the Holy Spirit, not you, to lead them into truth, while you walk through it with them. That’s done through love and relational communion with others. It’s surely not done by divorcing your spouse. Christians, we can do better.

The worst part is that while all the gay people are going to be getting the tax benefits of being married, who’s going to lobby for tax protection for people that get divorced as an act of protecting their religious freedom, but intend to still continue to co-habitat, as if married, while having children out of wedlock? Maybe the Australian ACLU? Does that organization exist? Anyone interested in starting it if it doesn’t?

If you liked this post, please click one of the buttons below and share it. Thanks.

« Older posts Newer posts »

© 2025 BrucePagano.com

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑