Tag: hurt (Page 2 of 2)

A New Year isn’t a New Life.

New-Years-Resolutions-SysAdmin Every year we wait in gathered anticipation for the chiming of the bell that will signal the new year and with it the hopes of new beginnings. We take stock of the previous year and assign levels of disappointment or satisfaction to help formulate our plan for the next 365 days. Our entire culture, from the big screen to social media, suggest that if we can just make it to 11:59 pm on December 31st, we’ll be alright. But that isn’t the truth. The hanging of a new calendar doesn’t guarantee a fresh new start. I don’t want to be a complete killjoy, so I’ll admit that there’s something about the scent of anticipation that is intoxicating. And, to be fair, the starting of a new year and a calendar free from the ink of the previous “to dos” does allow for a good launching point for starting… or restarting.  Goal setting should be as much a part of the tearing off of the December page as it is the rest of the year. So, while a new year doesn’t guarantee a new start, it does provide the possibility of one.

While a new year doesn’t guarantee a new start, it does provide the possibility of one.

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But, for so many people, they approach the new year with excited anticipation only to have their hopes for newness dashed once the “magic” of the holiday fades into the normalcy of everyday life. They look around and see that nothing has really changed; they’re still in debt, maybe deeper from over-reaching Christmas, relationships are still broken, maybe depression still drowns them or their loved one is still gone. For many the escape from pain or disappointment was temporary; measured in mere days. The hope of the new year that we’re peddled is mostly an illusion. It doesn’t take into account the realities of most people’s lives.

This isn’t the case for everyone. There are some that are in a great place in their life; tragedy or hardship hasn’t yet crashed down their door. The new year is a time of great reflection, in which they decide what bad habits they are going to abandon and which good ones they’ll adopt. And they have the will power, discipline and accountability to do it. To those I would say, don’t forget that there are those, in your life, whose new year started with dragging the chains of 2014 into 2015. There are people in your life whose 2014 ended with hurt or whose 2015 started with it. Don’t forget them. Be a light to them. Walk with them through it. Remember them by being with them and loving on them. 2 Corinthians 1:3-5 says, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.” Comfort them, don’t try to fix it, just comfort them. For those that can’t see a new year past the despair caked lens of 2014, I’ll say this, there is hope. While everything else is uncertain and turbulent, God is not. James 1:17 gives us a promise to hold onto. It says, “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” While every other area of your life may be uncertain and ever-changing, God is not. We are able to trust the promises of God, through Jesus. Life may not make sense right now; it may not fit with how you thought things would be or how you want it to be, but there’s still hope. God, through His people, can provide the comfort you need to bear your circumstance. Reach out to someone and hold on.

We are able to trust the promises of God, through Jesus.

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Please don’t misunderstand me. I’m not suggesting that if you hope in God all your problems will vanish; they won’t. But God has given His people to grieve with you, to comfort you, to be with you and to sustain you, so that you don’t lose hope. I wish I had answers for our “Why!?”s, but I don’t. All I can offer is my time and my prayer. If I know you, and we’re in close proximity, you can have both, just let me know. If neither apply, my prayer is still available, just let me know (I promise I’ll pray for you).

3 Reasons Why “Just give it to Jesus” Isn’t Helpful.

Without a doubt there are plenty of cringe worthy things that come from the mouths of well-meaning and good intentioned friends and family that if they paused, for even just a moment, would probably have never had said it.The same goes for Christians. There are plenty of Christians, me being one of them, that say or have said things to other Christians, and even worse said them to people that aren’t, that if said to them, would make them want to fight the person saying it. “Just give it to Jesus” is one of those things.

giving_hands_and_red_pushpin-640x420It isn’t that the person saying it doesn’t care what you’re going through, they do, but they may not know any other way to help. This has got to be one of the most misused and abused Christian phrases ever uttered by well-meaning Jesus followers. Unfortunately I’ve been on both ends of this misguided attempt to provide “wise council”. Somewhere along the way Christians turned King David’s song lyrics and Peter’s encouraging reminder into a witty, solve all, catch phrase that has often caused more frustration than help. Here’s three reasons why it isn’t exactly helpful.

1. It isn’t Biblical.

We’ll at least the way that we’ve interpreted it isn’t. As I already mentioned, “Just give it to Jesus” most closely comes from David in Psalm 55:22 and Peter’s reiteration of it in 1Peter 5:7. The verse tells us to cast our burdens or, when Peter says it, anxieties on God. The problem isn’t with the word “cast”, that actually means “give” or “toss”. The issue is with the words “burden” and “anxiety”. People have taken these to mean any problems or negative circumstances that we experience, but what these words refer to isn’t that simple.

Each word means something far deeper. The original Hebrew translation of ‘burden” is actually “gift”. That’s a bit unexpected. In this case “gift” can mean affliction, trials, and troubles, but it can also mean things that are agreeable and pleasing to us. While that may be confusing, the purpose of why David says this is far more important and clear. David is telling us that no matter our portion from God, we “commit [it] to His custody, and use to His glory; and particularly commit the keeping of thy soul to Him.” It’s about our ability to trust God’s faithfulness in keeping His promises to us. Likewise, the word “anxieties” doesn’t mean that you aren’t concerned for our circumstances, but is about letting circumstance divide our heart between God and anything else. In those cases, we are to give over those things to God so that our heart would not be divided and we are not drawn from Him who sustains us. It isn’t always easy or clear how to do this, so at the end I’ll talk about that a bit more.

I know what you’re thinking, if “Give it to Jesus” isn’t exactly biblical, what is? In Galatians 6, Paul tells us how we are to respond to other’s burdens, so that we would honor Jesus. He says, “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” The appropriate response to a brother or sister’s heavy burden is that you bear it with them. While Paul was in prison and in dire circumstance, he continued to have hope and comfort in Christ, but he still asked for people, like Timothy, to come be with him.  He still needed the comfort and encouragement of fellow believers to help bear the burden. While it may be hard to carry your burden by yourself, it becomes easier and easier with the more people who help carry it.

“Bearing other’s burdens is often far easier than bearing our own.” Tweet this!

2. It’s Dismissive.

It really is. It’s like asking someone, in passing, “Hey, how ya doing?” and they aren’t quite with the program so they offer more than the standard, “Good” or “Busy”, and actually tell you how they are doing and it isn’t all good. All of the sudden you’re left standing there, with no idea what to say, so you go to the other standard Christian “deflect and evade” counter-measure, “That’s tough, bro. I’ll pray for you.” While you might believe that they actually need someone to pray for them, you only say it as a means to indicate to the other person that you don’t know what to say and you want to leave. Once you’re out of there, whether you actually pray for the person is a different story. When you tell someone to “Just give it to Jesus” you’re telling the person that you don’t know what to say and have nothing to offer them. It communicates loud and clear “That sucks that YOU’RE dealing with that, but I’m not and I don’t plan to.” As I mentioned in number 1, if you’re a Christian, you don’t get off that easy. If you want to honor Jesus, you have to bear their burdens with them.

3:  It’s Not Tangible.

You’re not there to make the situation go away, although I would argue that real love does eliminate burden if it’s within their ability to do so, you know, Jesus’ whole “no greater love and a friend laying down his life” example. But just throwing out those four words and bouncing out isn’t very Jesus. The burden brother/sister needs comfort, wisdom, insight, encouragement, and the list goes on. You’re gifted by the God for the purpose of helping and serving others. There’s a whole list of gifts in Romans 12. Chances are you have one of them and it wasn’t given to you for your benefit. If we have the ability to lighten the burden of other’s, why are we so stingy?

It really has everything to do with our heart. If you’re seeking Jesus and allowing His Holy Spirit to transform you, your heart will change, you won’t have a choice in that. But we have to be willing to recognize that we make the decision to be like Him, because He never forces Himself on us. Sometimes, it’s a matter of not knowing how to respond to another’s difficult situation. That’s ok, but it’s not ok to never grow out of that.

Knowing how to respond isn’t always the easy. Here’s how theologian John Gill explained Galatians 6:2 and what bearing each other’s burden should look like,

“…by gently reproving them, by comforting them when over-pressed with guilt, by sympathizing with them in their sorrow, by praying to God for to manifest his pardoning grace to them, and by forgiving them themselves, so far as they are faults committed against them…”

It’s things like, praying with them in that moment, giving a word of encouragement, taking there kids for a couple of hours to let them have a moment to think, buying their groceries, making them a meal, just being with them, crying with them, hugging them… I imagine if you thought about it, you come up with better ones.

If we stopped assuming that the bible was written for other people, maybe we would be able to live it better ourselves. It wasn’t written for you to quote it to others as a means of getting out of doing life with them. Yes all scripture is “profitable for teaching, reproof, correction, and training in righteousness and so that we may be equipped for every good work“. It exists as a means of encouraging others and as the foundation for providing wise counsel, but if we try to apply it to others’ life before we apply it to our own, it becomes lifeless and heavy.

“When we can accept that the bible is written to us first, then we can better followers of Jesus.” Tweet this!

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